Hello, Fall! How I Have Missed You...

It has been raining here for the last 3 days straight, and it has been AWESOME!  Call me a freak, but I love nothing more than super dreary, stormy weather. As long as there's no hail or tornado warnings, I am in HEAVEN!  Unfortunately, today that means that my niece's bounce house party had to change a bit (we'll be doing kids karaoke instead! Woot woot!) but I'm still on cloud nine and can't wait until the temperature drops for good so I can start getting my baking on! 

Every year I make this huge list of things I want to try baking, and this year I got inspired to try cooking candy. I have made candy in the past; I made these AMAZING apple cider caramels last year and homemade butterfingers about 10 months ago or so, so I know the basics but I really want to try my hand at making taffy this year. Along with several other things...and I have a brand new stove that I get to abuse and no reason to NOT do it! My poor dutch oven is just sitting on a shelf all sad and unused (since I promised myself I wouldn't fry anything!) just waiting for this season to come upon us! 

On that note, if you don't have a dutch oven, or don't know what a dutch oven is used for, let me explain: a dutch oven is by far the greatest thing ever for any kitchen. As stated above, you can do ANYTHING in it from frying foods to making candy and everything in between. It can go in the oven and go camping with you (yes, camping...it can sit in the campfire and everything!) and bake breads and cook soups...I could go on forever. I love my dutch oven, I got it as a wedding present and just stared at it in its box for about a year before I just HAD to get some kind of use for it. I don't even remember what I made in it, but I'm pretty sure I cooked some kind of meat for my first attempt at tamales...and the meat was the only good part about that! But, I fell madly in love and never looked back. 

This year, I hope to let Penny help me out with the regular baking. I look very forward to our first year decorating Christmas cookies and giving our neighbors some goodies. She always wants to help me and I usually give her a small job, but this year one thing we are going to do is make David's birthday cake. I want her to be able to present it, no matter how lopsided and unevenly iced, and be able to say "Look what I made you, Daddy!" 

If you don't know me personally, I'll let you know now that there is nothing more adorable (and, slightly annoying) than how much my oldest daughter LOVES her Daddy!  She loves me too, and enjoys our time together whenever we get it, but I am well aware that she is a daddy's girl, through and through. I do get tired of it, but for the most part I embrace it. 

However, lately Penny has started to take on my mannerisms and hand gestures.  It's very funny.  We spent a good hour the other night making "emotion faces"...I don't think I have laughed that hard in years.  But this big step has also been an eye-opener. I know I can be hard on my kids, and I like to believe it's for their own good and that as long as there is a good balance of love and the firm hand, they will turn out normal. However: 

 This really makes a parent think about how they go about discipline the next time the kids are driving her up a wall!  I think I had great parents, but they weren't perfect and neither am I. I'm not shooting for perfection, but I am bound and determined to try and not make the same mistakes. 

It's a constant fear as a parent, that you will screw up your kid so badly that they won't be able to make it in the real world on their own and have normal social relationships.  You wonder if you are too soft, or too hard on them. You wonder if spanking them will ruin them for life or just teach them to not be a jerkface, and then if you don't spank them you wonder if you are teaching them that they can get away with their actions...and then it just spins out of control.  

But, then there is this time at night when your kids are going to bed and they come up to you with those sleepy eyes and crawl into your lap, wrap their arms around your neck, nuzzle their heads into your chest and just breathe.  And all of it is 100% worth it.

Indecisive much?!

So my lovely husband informed me that for my birthday I can get the tattoo that I have been DYING to get. *Insert celebratory dance moves here!* 

Of course, now that I know I can get it...I can't decide what to get! I went with my good friend, Deedee to get her tattoo, so at least I know where to go to get it done, and I know that I have to wait a couple years (like 5 minimum) to even attempt a tattoo near my scar on my chest, which means that I'll be getting the one(s) for my girls! 

I know I want their names and/or dates of birth, but I don't really know where and I don't really know what kind of design. Welcome to my mind =) I'm mostly leaning towards the back of my neck so I can easily cover it up if I want. That or one on each shoulder blade. Some of the designs I've seen online sparked my interest. 

     

I like the infinity symbol one (not really the flowers) but it seems like everyone is getting them...and I want to be different =) 

And the one on the back of the neck is just a little more boring than I want. Again, welcome to my mind! 

I'm wondering if I could get one that was my zodiac sign (Libra) with Penny's sign in one part of the scale and Sophia's sign in the other...of course being balanced evenly! 

David isn't a huge fan of tattoos, but I have wanted another for years, especially since my first was meaningful, but stupidly placed and has become quite a joke. 

I really want a pretty tattoo, is that too much to ask?!  And I want it to mean something, especially since I'm doing it with my kids' names. 

As far as turning 26...it feels WAY better than turning 25!  I plan to go out and have a margarita and get a tattoo, but other than that I look forward to spending the day with my family. I'm ignoring that I only have FOUR more years until I'm 30 and enjoy the fact that I have a whole four more years before I turn 30 =) And if you understood that sentence, congratulations you speak the language of Katie.

Super-Special Heart even 6+ months later!

I hit a pretty special mile-marker last month. It was officially 6 months since I had open-heart surgery!! I was pretty shocked and excited to realize it, but as my appointment with my cardiologist drew nearer, I was more nervous than anything. I knew that we would be doing another echo to see how well my heart has healed and to see the difference in gradient levels since August of 2011, when I was originally diagnosed.  The gradient is basically the level of blockage caused by the tissue malformation in my heart (caused by the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and in a normal, healthy heart the gradient level should be zero. I knew my heart would never be a zero, but back in 2011, when they realized the problem, my gradient level was 78. *Zoinks!*  

Also, I had decided to switch cardiologists. I didn't really have anything against my original one, but I had several problems with her staff. The first issue I had was when I had my first follow-up visit after my surgery to get the OK to go back to work. Her nurse had brought her the wrong chart and while my doctor was getting paperwork, she left the chart on the counter in front of me. HUGE violation of a patient's privacy!  Then when I was trying to get a prescription refilled, her nurse left me a message telling me it had been discontinued in March. That didn't add up to what I had discussed with my doctor, but I let it slide since I would be seeing her in a few weeks anyway and could ask her about it in person. Then after I had scheduled my appointment, I got another phone call from her nurse telling me that since I had been seen in May, I didn't need to be seen until November.  I had never been seen in May, so this was the absolute last straw because AGAIN they were getting their patients confused. So I called my primary doctor and had her send me a referral to a cardiologist my sister had originally suggested to me...when will I ever learn to just listen??  

The appointment went great, no big news...had gained a few pounds which pissed me off but I had known it was coming so can't be to mad about it!  Finally, they sent me to get the echo and the moment arrived!  After seeing my echo from August about half a dozen times I actually knew (kind of) what I was looking at, but not how to tell what was good or bad. So instead I did what I do best and watched. I'm pretty sure the echo tech thought I was a complete freak because I was staring DIRECTLY at her face for close to 30-45 minutes.  Finally, she just started smiling and I knew it would be good news, but I still waited.  She looked at me and said "Well, this is just beautiful" My eyes instantly filled with tears. I asked her why and she told me "Dr. Bradley was expecting a gradient in the 30's...but yours is a 24!" And then the tears just flooded.  I know I'm not completely out of the woods and that I still have a heart condition and blah, blah, blah...whatever!  I am SO grateful for the past year that I don't know how people can ever question the possibility of someone watching over us.  I should of had symptoms much more severe before 2011, ESPECIALLY since I went through two pregnancies.  But instead I was blessed with two healthy babies before I found out.  And because I have a wonderful doctor in the family, I was able to get the absolute BEST care that I could and had this amazing surgeon perform my surgery and do SUCH a great job that I'm going to be around to see those two kids grow up and be amazing, beautiful women. And I get to grow old with the greatest husband in the world.  

Since my last post, my youngest turned 1 year old, and the oldest turned 3. We have moved into a rental house that is, in the nicest words possible, a challenge.  But we have put a lot of love and sweat into it and it's starting to feel like a home. A temporary home. As in the day our lease is up, we will be LONG gone. Forever. And I won't cry!