Two weeks ago, I made a point to clearly tell my husband that I had very specific things I wanted for my birthday.
1) I wanted to go do dinner ALONE with him to this Indian restaurant, Maharajah's, for my birthday dinner.
2) He was in charge of arranging a babysitter
3) I was getting a tattoo
Well, instead of the tattoo I let the Hubby talk me into a shopping spree. Not too bad, I got a new pair of work pants, work shirt, cardigan, and some new NOT cheap makeup. And promptly after the first use of my new mascara, my sneaky toddler tiptoed into our bathroom and "painted" the walls and toilet and floor around the toilet. We do clean and everything, but it's a rental house and not a very nice rental house so that was the end of my mascara!
The day before my birthday, Hubby tells me he hasn't been able to arrange a babysitter...there goes the last two things I wanted.
Secretly, the entire day I was at work I was hoping he was just teasing me and he would be whisking me off for my dream dinner. But I knew deep down that was just not happening. So when he got home from picking up the girls from daycare, we chatted about what to do for dinner and it was going nowhere, so we opted for delivery. Somehow, I wound up sitting alone in the living room watching television (ON MY BIRTHDAY) while he watched TV in another room with our toddler and while the baby slept. Grr.
But then, after dinner, he went and got a cupcake and put a candle in it and sang Happy Birthday to me with the girls. And yes, I cried.
To give my husband some credit, he has never really celebrated birthdays and my family goes kind of insane over every holiday, especially birthdays. I have a pretty high bar of expectation when it comes to birthdays, this is true! But he gave me the best birthday he could think of. And there is something wonderful and beautiful in that.
Now to change the subject a bit...as everyone has realized by now, I have two daughters. And I am not a stick figure. I CONSTANTLY worry that my daughters will struggle with the same body image and weight issues that I have had for my entire life. I only hope that I can help them to understand that they are NOT just a number on a scale, but also to be strong and motivated enough to work hard to look the way they want for THEMSELVES, not society. I'm not sure if everyone has seen the story about the news anchor who was blasted by a viewer for being fat, but I did and I saw red and completely lost my shit over it.
If not familiar, click here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/03/jennifer-livingston-news-anchor-today-show_n_1935779.html
First of all, she never in any way asked for this man's opinion of her. She knows she isn't skinny, nor is she trying to be! Just because she is on TV does NOT mean she needs to be skinny! Yes, being obese is becoming much too common and it is incredibly unhealthy. But pointing it out to someone, ESPECIALLY in that way, is NOT going to help anything. In fact it will most likely do the opposite. Or just piss her off. Which it seemed to. Good for you, girl. Stick it to him.
On that note, I don't want my girls to be skinny. I want them to be healthy and confident. Period. If anyone ever told my girls that they should be ashamed of themselves for having extra weight, I would run them over with a car. Not kidding. I hope this guys mother doesn't know what her son said to another woman.
Something to teach your daughters: They are beautiful the way God made them.
Also: It's a vagina. Not a cookie, hoo-hah, vajayjay, or any other stupid name that parents make up because they don't want their kids to say the real word. Big pet peeve of mine. It's a body part, not a dirty word. If you have one, you should be able to say it! If you don't have one, you shouldn't get to see one until you are mature enough to say it...and then wait a few more years =)
As my birthday draws to an end, one more big THANK YOU to my friends and family for all the birthday wishes! 26 feels WAY better than 25 did.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Hello, Fall! How I Have Missed You...
It has been raining here for the last 3 days straight, and it has been AWESOME! Call me a freak, but I love nothing more than super dreary, stormy weather. As long as there's no hail or tornado warnings, I am in HEAVEN! Unfortunately, today that means that my niece's bounce house party had to change a bit (we'll be doing kids karaoke instead! Woot woot!) but I'm still on cloud nine and can't wait until the temperature drops for good so I can start getting my baking on!
Every year I make this huge list of things I want to try baking, and this year I got inspired to try cooking candy. I have made candy in the past; I made these AMAZING apple cider caramels last year and homemade butterfingers about 10 months ago or so, so I know the basics but I really want to try my hand at making taffy this year. Along with several other things...and I have a brand new stove that I get to abuse and no reason to NOT do it! My poor dutch oven is just sitting on a shelf all sad and unused (since I promised myself I wouldn't fry anything!) just waiting for this season to come upon us!
On that note, if you don't have a dutch oven, or don't know what a dutch oven is used for, let me explain: a dutch oven is by far the greatest thing ever for any kitchen. As stated above, you can do ANYTHING in it from frying foods to making candy and everything in between. It can go in the oven and go camping with you (yes, camping...it can sit in the campfire and everything!) and bake breads and cook soups...I could go on forever. I love my dutch oven, I got it as a wedding present and just stared at it in its box for about a year before I just HAD to get some kind of use for it. I don't even remember what I made in it, but I'm pretty sure I cooked some kind of meat for my first attempt at tamales...and the meat was the only good part about that! But, I fell madly in love and never looked back.
This year, I hope to let Penny help me out with the regular baking. I look very forward to our first year decorating Christmas cookies and giving our neighbors some goodies. She always wants to help me and I usually give her a small job, but this year one thing we are going to do is make David's birthday cake. I want her to be able to present it, no matter how lopsided and unevenly iced, and be able to say "Look what I made you, Daddy!"
If you don't know me personally, I'll let you know now that there is nothing more adorable (and, slightly annoying) than how much my oldest daughter LOVES her Daddy! She loves me too, and enjoys our time together whenever we get it, but I am well aware that she is a daddy's girl, through and through. I do get tired of it, but for the most part I embrace it.
However, lately Penny has started to take on my mannerisms and hand gestures. It's very funny. We spent a good hour the other night making "emotion faces"...I don't think I have laughed that hard in years. But this big step has also been an eye-opener. I know I can be hard on my kids, and I like to believe it's for their own good and that as long as there is a good balance of love and the firm hand, they will turn out normal. However:
This really makes a parent think about how they go about discipline the next time the kids are driving her up a wall! I think I had great parents, but they weren't perfect and neither am I. I'm not shooting for perfection, but I am bound and determined to try and not make the same mistakes.
It's a constant fear as a parent, that you will screw up your kid so badly that they won't be able to make it in the real world on their own and have normal social relationships. You wonder if you are too soft, or too hard on them. You wonder if spanking them will ruin them for life or just teach them to not be a jerkface, and then if you don't spank them you wonder if you are teaching them that they can get away with their actions...and then it just spins out of control.
But, then there is this time at night when your kids are going to bed and they come up to you with those sleepy eyes and crawl into your lap, wrap their arms around your neck, nuzzle their heads into your chest and just breathe. And all of it is 100% worth it.
Every year I make this huge list of things I want to try baking, and this year I got inspired to try cooking candy. I have made candy in the past; I made these AMAZING apple cider caramels last year and homemade butterfingers about 10 months ago or so, so I know the basics but I really want to try my hand at making taffy this year. Along with several other things...and I have a brand new stove that I get to abuse and no reason to NOT do it! My poor dutch oven is just sitting on a shelf all sad and unused (since I promised myself I wouldn't fry anything!) just waiting for this season to come upon us!
On that note, if you don't have a dutch oven, or don't know what a dutch oven is used for, let me explain: a dutch oven is by far the greatest thing ever for any kitchen. As stated above, you can do ANYTHING in it from frying foods to making candy and everything in between. It can go in the oven and go camping with you (yes, camping...it can sit in the campfire and everything!) and bake breads and cook soups...I could go on forever. I love my dutch oven, I got it as a wedding present and just stared at it in its box for about a year before I just HAD to get some kind of use for it. I don't even remember what I made in it, but I'm pretty sure I cooked some kind of meat for my first attempt at tamales...and the meat was the only good part about that! But, I fell madly in love and never looked back.
This year, I hope to let Penny help me out with the regular baking. I look very forward to our first year decorating Christmas cookies and giving our neighbors some goodies. She always wants to help me and I usually give her a small job, but this year one thing we are going to do is make David's birthday cake. I want her to be able to present it, no matter how lopsided and unevenly iced, and be able to say "Look what I made you, Daddy!"
If you don't know me personally, I'll let you know now that there is nothing more adorable (and, slightly annoying) than how much my oldest daughter LOVES her Daddy! She loves me too, and enjoys our time together whenever we get it, but I am well aware that she is a daddy's girl, through and through. I do get tired of it, but for the most part I embrace it.
However, lately Penny has started to take on my mannerisms and hand gestures. It's very funny. We spent a good hour the other night making "emotion faces"...I don't think I have laughed that hard in years. But this big step has also been an eye-opener. I know I can be hard on my kids, and I like to believe it's for their own good and that as long as there is a good balance of love and the firm hand, they will turn out normal. However:
This really makes a parent think about how they go about discipline the next time the kids are driving her up a wall! I think I had great parents, but they weren't perfect and neither am I. I'm not shooting for perfection, but I am bound and determined to try and not make the same mistakes.
It's a constant fear as a parent, that you will screw up your kid so badly that they won't be able to make it in the real world on their own and have normal social relationships. You wonder if you are too soft, or too hard on them. You wonder if spanking them will ruin them for life or just teach them to not be a jerkface, and then if you don't spank them you wonder if you are teaching them that they can get away with their actions...and then it just spins out of control.
But, then there is this time at night when your kids are going to bed and they come up to you with those sleepy eyes and crawl into your lap, wrap their arms around your neck, nuzzle their heads into your chest and just breathe. And all of it is 100% worth it.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Indecisive much?!
So my lovely husband informed me that for my birthday I can get the tattoo that I have been DYING to get. *Insert celebratory dance moves here!*
Of course, now that I know I can get it...I can't decide what to get! I went with my good friend, Deedee to get her tattoo, so at least I know where to go to get it done, and I know that I have to wait a couple years (like 5 minimum) to even attempt a tattoo near my scar on my chest, which means that I'll be getting the one(s) for my girls!
I know I want their names and/or dates of birth, but I don't really know where and I don't really know what kind of design. Welcome to my mind =) I'm mostly leaning towards the back of my neck so I can easily cover it up if I want. That or one on each shoulder blade. Some of the designs I've seen online sparked my interest.
Of course, now that I know I can get it...I can't decide what to get! I went with my good friend, Deedee to get her tattoo, so at least I know where to go to get it done, and I know that I have to wait a couple years (like 5 minimum) to even attempt a tattoo near my scar on my chest, which means that I'll be getting the one(s) for my girls!
I know I want their names and/or dates of birth, but I don't really know where and I don't really know what kind of design. Welcome to my mind =) I'm mostly leaning towards the back of my neck so I can easily cover it up if I want. That or one on each shoulder blade. Some of the designs I've seen online sparked my interest.
I like the infinity symbol one (not really the flowers) but it seems like everyone is getting them...and I want to be different =)
And the one on the back of the neck is just a little more boring than I want. Again, welcome to my mind!
I'm wondering if I could get one that was my zodiac sign (Libra) with Penny's sign in one part of the scale and Sophia's sign in the other...of course being balanced evenly!
David isn't a huge fan of tattoos, but I have wanted another for years, especially since my first was meaningful, but stupidly placed and has become quite a joke.
I really want a pretty tattoo, is that too much to ask?! And I want it to mean something, especially since I'm doing it with my kids' names.
As far as turning 26...it feels WAY better than turning 25! I plan to go out and have a margarita and get a tattoo, but other than that I look forward to spending the day with my family. I'm ignoring that I only have FOUR more years until I'm 30 and enjoy the fact that I have a whole four more years before I turn 30 =) And if you understood that sentence, congratulations you speak the language of Katie.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Super-Special Heart even 6+ months later!
I hit a pretty special mile-marker last month. It was officially 6 months since I had open-heart surgery!! I was pretty shocked and excited to realize it, but as my appointment with my cardiologist drew nearer, I was more nervous than anything. I knew that we would be doing another echo to see how well my heart has healed and to see the difference in gradient levels since August of 2011, when I was originally diagnosed. The gradient is basically the level of blockage caused by the tissue malformation in my heart (caused by the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and in a normal, healthy heart the gradient level should be zero. I knew my heart would never be a zero, but back in 2011, when they realized the problem, my gradient level was 78. *Zoinks!*
Also, I had decided to switch cardiologists. I didn't really have anything against my original one, but I had several problems with her staff. The first issue I had was when I had my first follow-up visit after my surgery to get the OK to go back to work. Her nurse had brought her the wrong chart and while my doctor was getting paperwork, she left the chart on the counter in front of me. HUGE violation of a patient's privacy! Then when I was trying to get a prescription refilled, her nurse left me a message telling me it had been discontinued in March. That didn't add up to what I had discussed with my doctor, but I let it slide since I would be seeing her in a few weeks anyway and could ask her about it in person. Then after I had scheduled my appointment, I got another phone call from her nurse telling me that since I had been seen in May, I didn't need to be seen until November. I had never been seen in May, so this was the absolute last straw because AGAIN they were getting their patients confused. So I called my primary doctor and had her send me a referral to a cardiologist my sister had originally suggested to me...when will I ever learn to just listen??
The appointment went great, no big news...had gained a few pounds which pissed me off but I had known it was coming so can't be to mad about it! Finally, they sent me to get the echo and the moment arrived! After seeing my echo from August about half a dozen times I actually knew (kind of) what I was looking at, but not how to tell what was good or bad. So instead I did what I do best and watched. I'm pretty sure the echo tech thought I was a complete freak because I was staring DIRECTLY at her face for close to 30-45 minutes. Finally, she just started smiling and I knew it would be good news, but I still waited. She looked at me and said "Well, this is just beautiful" My eyes instantly filled with tears. I asked her why and she told me "Dr. Bradley was expecting a gradient in the 30's...but yours is a 24!" And then the tears just flooded. I know I'm not completely out of the woods and that I still have a heart condition and blah, blah, blah...whatever! I am SO grateful for the past year that I don't know how people can ever question the possibility of someone watching over us. I should of had symptoms much more severe before 2011, ESPECIALLY since I went through two pregnancies. But instead I was blessed with two healthy babies before I found out. And because I have a wonderful doctor in the family, I was able to get the absolute BEST care that I could and had this amazing surgeon perform my surgery and do SUCH a great job that I'm going to be around to see those two kids grow up and be amazing, beautiful women. And I get to grow old with the greatest husband in the world.
Since my last post, my youngest turned 1 year old, and the oldest turned 3. We have moved into a rental house that is, in the nicest words possible, a challenge. But we have put a lot of love and sweat into it and it's starting to feel like a home. A temporary home. As in the day our lease is up, we will be LONG gone. Forever. And I won't cry!
Also, I had decided to switch cardiologists. I didn't really have anything against my original one, but I had several problems with her staff. The first issue I had was when I had my first follow-up visit after my surgery to get the OK to go back to work. Her nurse had brought her the wrong chart and while my doctor was getting paperwork, she left the chart on the counter in front of me. HUGE violation of a patient's privacy! Then when I was trying to get a prescription refilled, her nurse left me a message telling me it had been discontinued in March. That didn't add up to what I had discussed with my doctor, but I let it slide since I would be seeing her in a few weeks anyway and could ask her about it in person. Then after I had scheduled my appointment, I got another phone call from her nurse telling me that since I had been seen in May, I didn't need to be seen until November. I had never been seen in May, so this was the absolute last straw because AGAIN they were getting their patients confused. So I called my primary doctor and had her send me a referral to a cardiologist my sister had originally suggested to me...when will I ever learn to just listen??
The appointment went great, no big news...had gained a few pounds which pissed me off but I had known it was coming so can't be to mad about it! Finally, they sent me to get the echo and the moment arrived! After seeing my echo from August about half a dozen times I actually knew (kind of) what I was looking at, but not how to tell what was good or bad. So instead I did what I do best and watched. I'm pretty sure the echo tech thought I was a complete freak because I was staring DIRECTLY at her face for close to 30-45 minutes. Finally, she just started smiling and I knew it would be good news, but I still waited. She looked at me and said "Well, this is just beautiful" My eyes instantly filled with tears. I asked her why and she told me "Dr. Bradley was expecting a gradient in the 30's...but yours is a 24!" And then the tears just flooded. I know I'm not completely out of the woods and that I still have a heart condition and blah, blah, blah...whatever! I am SO grateful for the past year that I don't know how people can ever question the possibility of someone watching over us. I should of had symptoms much more severe before 2011, ESPECIALLY since I went through two pregnancies. But instead I was blessed with two healthy babies before I found out. And because I have a wonderful doctor in the family, I was able to get the absolute BEST care that I could and had this amazing surgeon perform my surgery and do SUCH a great job that I'm going to be around to see those two kids grow up and be amazing, beautiful women. And I get to grow old with the greatest husband in the world.
Since my last post, my youngest turned 1 year old, and the oldest turned 3. We have moved into a rental house that is, in the nicest words possible, a challenge. But we have put a lot of love and sweat into it and it's starting to feel like a home. A temporary home. As in the day our lease is up, we will be LONG gone. Forever. And I won't cry!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Is there really a such thing as the Zipper Club?
Well...kind of. See, a scar from having open-heart surgery is kind of like a pregnant belly...everyone sees it, everyone kind of stares at it thinking "hmm, should I ask??" and most everyone decides against it. This week, however, I had a coworker come up to me at work (I'm back to work by the way, more on that later.) and tell me "Oh, so you're a member of the Zipper Club? My husband is too." Call me crazy, but I found this AWESOME! As most of you know, I'm not embarrassed about my scar. I kind of had to get over it, I wasn't known for my super-modest wardrobe to begin with, people have been staring at my chest since puberty. I'm not PROUD of that so much as I've gotten over it, same with the scar. It's a part of me, it's an awesome story, why not own it, right? So I've been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo over the scar cuz, hello!! What better way to own it! Problem?? I'm a huge weenie and am surprised I even made it through the only other tattoo I have. On that note I would like to say, for the record, I didn't know of the phrase "tramp stamp" when I got it...I swear! So anyway, I have been told that getting tattoos over scars hurts like hell, so I'm not going to rush into this decision any time soon. Mostly cuz I don't really regret my other tattoo so much as I kind of got sick of it after about a month and you can't exactly get rid of it so I'm not going to hurry a decision that I would see every single day. But the Zipper Club gave me a pretty cool idea of what I would like my tattoo to be. However, I'm not exactly the most artistic person so I have trouble wrapping my head around what I would want the tattoo to look like. Just a plain old zipper sounds boring and ugly lol
So for those of you who actually read my blog (I know, I know, there's about a billion of you!!) and have some artistic ability, I would LOVE some ideas! I'm not sure how to explain what I want other than a pretty zipper? Sorry, like I said, zero artistic ability. Those of you who play Draw Something with me know!!
Anyway, I've been at work now for 2 weeks and I'm already missing being home with the girls. I like the "break," if you will, but as a mother you just never really get over the guilt of not being home. It's not really fair, if you ask me! So I think that if David's possible career move falls through (cross your fingers for this to NOT happen!) I'm just going to start going back to school full time and see where that takes me. I've waited and waited and made excuse after excuse and it's just time. I still have no idea what to go to school for. I'm thinking somewhere between opening my own bakery (I'm pretty sure there isn't a major in that subject lol) and being a writer. What I'm the most afraid of is going to school for 4 or more years and having a degree that I can't even use. I remember in high school all of our teachers told us "All you need is a 4 year degree and you'll be set!" LIARS! I'm sure they couldn't have predicted that our economy and job situation would be where it is today but who could have? Wait a second, isn't that someones JOB to fix?? Hmm....
<-----That's all I'm saying!!!!
As for the diet...lets just say I've fallen off the wagon. Chocolate is my best friend and will never leave me. My favorite work pants were a little tight the other day (to be fair they were fresh out of the dryer!) so I turned on the music and jumped and danced around with Penny =) That counts, right?! I'm determined to hit my goal weight by New Year's Eve and I'm keeping it dammit. Its just....CHOCOLATE!!! Need I say more? I gave it up for Lent so maybe that's why I've been so obsessed with it recently. And no, we aren't Catholic, we're Lutheran. Which is basically Catholic...except it isn't. And we haven't gone to church since my confirmation, but we still do the whole Lent thing. Mostly for the self-discipline of it. Whatever, come Easter morning I was elbow deep in a tub of Nutella =) Ok not really, but for those of you who DO give up something for Lent do NOT give up chocolate. It's just cruel.
On that note, I think Penny still had a Cadbury Creme egg...those are my absolute favorite =)...Adios!
tee hee!
So for those of you who actually read my blog (I know, I know, there's about a billion of you!!) and have some artistic ability, I would LOVE some ideas! I'm not sure how to explain what I want other than a pretty zipper? Sorry, like I said, zero artistic ability. Those of you who play Draw Something with me know!!
Anyway, I've been at work now for 2 weeks and I'm already missing being home with the girls. I like the "break," if you will, but as a mother you just never really get over the guilt of not being home. It's not really fair, if you ask me! So I think that if David's possible career move falls through (cross your fingers for this to NOT happen!) I'm just going to start going back to school full time and see where that takes me. I've waited and waited and made excuse after excuse and it's just time. I still have no idea what to go to school for. I'm thinking somewhere between opening my own bakery (I'm pretty sure there isn't a major in that subject lol) and being a writer. What I'm the most afraid of is going to school for 4 or more years and having a degree that I can't even use. I remember in high school all of our teachers told us "All you need is a 4 year degree and you'll be set!" LIARS! I'm sure they couldn't have predicted that our economy and job situation would be where it is today but who could have? Wait a second, isn't that someones JOB to fix?? Hmm....
<-----That's all I'm saying!!!!As for the diet...lets just say I've fallen off the wagon. Chocolate is my best friend and will never leave me. My favorite work pants were a little tight the other day (to be fair they were fresh out of the dryer!) so I turned on the music and jumped and danced around with Penny =) That counts, right?! I'm determined to hit my goal weight by New Year's Eve and I'm keeping it dammit. Its just....CHOCOLATE!!! Need I say more? I gave it up for Lent so maybe that's why I've been so obsessed with it recently. And no, we aren't Catholic, we're Lutheran. Which is basically Catholic...except it isn't. And we haven't gone to church since my confirmation, but we still do the whole Lent thing. Mostly for the self-discipline of it. Whatever, come Easter morning I was elbow deep in a tub of Nutella =) Ok not really, but for those of you who DO give up something for Lent do NOT give up chocolate. It's just cruel.
On that note, I think Penny still had a Cadbury Creme egg...those are my absolute favorite =)...Adios!
tee hee!Monday, February 27, 2012
OhmiGARSH I'm bored!
Well, not really. See, now the girls have officially moved in (FINALLY!) and Hubby has started to work 4 days a week (14-hour shifts) at the store in Seminole to make us some extra money since I can't go back to work until I get a release. So to pass those extra moments, I've been trying to hone my literary skills and read some good books. I found a list of "classic" novels throughout our history and got 3 of them, and they are so incredibly BORING! I got quite a few BETTER suggestions from my friends for book choices, so I'll be returning to the library quite soon. Also I've been finding new recipes to try out and playing a couple computer games. I'm keeping the computer games to a minimum to avoid getting sucked into hours and hours on the computer. After all, it's just as bad as being in front of the TV all day and I'd rather be spending time with my sweet girls any day.
As for the "diet," lets just say that a low-sodium diet is not as easy as I thought! Mostly because I'm a salt-o-holic! I'd take a bag of chips over a sweet treat any day! Which inevitably lead to the need (along with the serious, life-altering heart condition) for the low-sodium diet! For the most part, it's not the worst TASTING diet, I will admit to that. After the first week you get used to how the food is actually supposed to taste and you start to use other spices instead of just heaping on the salt and it actually makes you more daring in the kitchen. Plus, it makes you hyper-aware of just how salty some foods are made, especially at fast food joints and other restaurants. For instance, the Hubbs and I went out on a "date" (baby Sophia crashed, but she literally crashed halfway through so it turned out to still be quite nice) to Genghis Grill the other day, and for those of you who don't know, I'll explain: you are given a bowl by your waitress and you go up to a buffet with all raw ingredients. You pick your protein (beef, pork, chicken, shrimp, crab, tofu...etc) then you pick your veggies (broccoli, zucchini and squash, spinach and so many more I can't even remember) and you pick a seasoning and sauce. By not ADDING anything that had salt in the title or salt by itself, I managed to keep the dish from being overly salty. Still probably in all too much sodium to qualify as a good meal for my specific requirements but I was still quite proud and, most importantly, satisfied. So that's my general rule of thumb, just don't ADD any additional salt to anything I make and to get the lower and reduced sodium ingredients when available. Rinsing any canned veggies or beans that I use also cuts the sodium content in those ingredients.
My family also has a running tradition to get together and have breakfast once a week. Usually this consists of breakfast burritos but during my last pregnancy I had gestational diabetes so we branched out a bit to find some healthier breakfast bites. And since the G.D. went away after Sophia was born, we have stuck pretty well to having a healthier option available at MOST of our breakfasts. This past week was probably one of the best recipes we have had yet. My good friend in Utah, Kerry, introduced me to this co-op called Bountiful Baskets. Basically you pay like $15 and you get a laundry basket full of fresh produce, 50% veggies and 50% fruits. This past week we got mangoes in our basket. None of us have used mangoes on a regular basis....or ever, really, so we were looking for yummy recipes to use them in. We ran across this recipe from Pinterest:
http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/strawberry-mango-jicama-salad-recipe/
It was fantastic! We didn't add the cilantro because we aren't huge fans, however we did add a touch of chili powder. I was skeptical at this, but the chili brought out the sweetness in all of the fruits (if jicama is a fruit??) and made it quite delightful.
So that has been one thing keeping me from loosing my mind while I'm stuck being useless for the next 4 weeks. We'll be making a quinoa mac & cheese soon that seems interesting! I'm hoping my picky eaters (David and Penny) will at least give it a shot.
As for those crazy kiddos, they're wonderful!! Sophia had her first illness; she had double ear infections and RSV, which was super scary. Mostly just because we had to give her breathing treatments, which I didn't handle (emotionally) very well. I've gotten a pretty good poker face for all scary "mommy" things, or at least I hope I have. But luckily she didn't develop croup or pneumonia and made quite an amazing recovery. Thank GOODNESS!
Today has been a wonderfully miserable weather day and, as most moms know, this weather is like Ambien to kids so it's been AWESOME! We're gonna sit down to a warm cup of something now!
As for the "diet," lets just say that a low-sodium diet is not as easy as I thought! Mostly because I'm a salt-o-holic! I'd take a bag of chips over a sweet treat any day! Which inevitably lead to the need (along with the serious, life-altering heart condition) for the low-sodium diet! For the most part, it's not the worst TASTING diet, I will admit to that. After the first week you get used to how the food is actually supposed to taste and you start to use other spices instead of just heaping on the salt and it actually makes you more daring in the kitchen. Plus, it makes you hyper-aware of just how salty some foods are made, especially at fast food joints and other restaurants. For instance, the Hubbs and I went out on a "date" (baby Sophia crashed, but she literally crashed halfway through so it turned out to still be quite nice) to Genghis Grill the other day, and for those of you who don't know, I'll explain: you are given a bowl by your waitress and you go up to a buffet with all raw ingredients. You pick your protein (beef, pork, chicken, shrimp, crab, tofu...etc) then you pick your veggies (broccoli, zucchini and squash, spinach and so many more I can't even remember) and you pick a seasoning and sauce. By not ADDING anything that had salt in the title or salt by itself, I managed to keep the dish from being overly salty. Still probably in all too much sodium to qualify as a good meal for my specific requirements but I was still quite proud and, most importantly, satisfied. So that's my general rule of thumb, just don't ADD any additional salt to anything I make and to get the lower and reduced sodium ingredients when available. Rinsing any canned veggies or beans that I use also cuts the sodium content in those ingredients.
My family also has a running tradition to get together and have breakfast once a week. Usually this consists of breakfast burritos but during my last pregnancy I had gestational diabetes so we branched out a bit to find some healthier breakfast bites. And since the G.D. went away after Sophia was born, we have stuck pretty well to having a healthier option available at MOST of our breakfasts. This past week was probably one of the best recipes we have had yet. My good friend in Utah, Kerry, introduced me to this co-op called Bountiful Baskets. Basically you pay like $15 and you get a laundry basket full of fresh produce, 50% veggies and 50% fruits. This past week we got mangoes in our basket. None of us have used mangoes on a regular basis....or ever, really, so we were looking for yummy recipes to use them in. We ran across this recipe from Pinterest:
http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/strawberry-mango-jicama-salad-recipe/
It was fantastic! We didn't add the cilantro because we aren't huge fans, however we did add a touch of chili powder. I was skeptical at this, but the chili brought out the sweetness in all of the fruits (if jicama is a fruit??) and made it quite delightful.
So that has been one thing keeping me from loosing my mind while I'm stuck being useless for the next 4 weeks. We'll be making a quinoa mac & cheese soon that seems interesting! I'm hoping my picky eaters (David and Penny) will at least give it a shot.
As for those crazy kiddos, they're wonderful!! Sophia had her first illness; she had double ear infections and RSV, which was super scary. Mostly just because we had to give her breathing treatments, which I didn't handle (emotionally) very well. I've gotten a pretty good poker face for all scary "mommy" things, or at least I hope I have. But luckily she didn't develop croup or pneumonia and made quite an amazing recovery. Thank GOODNESS!
Today has been a wonderfully miserable weather day and, as most moms know, this weather is like Ambien to kids so it's been AWESOME! We're gonna sit down to a warm cup of something now!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Two-Week Anniversary
Still doing pretty good! I did have to make an appointment to see my Cardiologist because I was gaining weight (all water weight) which isn't good, so she put me on a diuretic. That's been pretty awesome, the pounds have been shedding like crazy, so that's made me happy! I knew there was no possible way to have gained like 17 lbs in a week, but it's always reassuring to know it's all water weight! I'm still a little too uncomfortable to sleep all the way through the night, but if I miss my medication doses the morning is awful so it's a vicious cycle. However, I'm two weeks into recovery so I know I'm getting close to feeling back to normal, at least I hope.
The hardest thing has been accepting that there are things I can't do, especially when it comes to my girls. Sophia does NOT like it when she reaches out for me and I don't pick her up. Penny has been pretty good, though. She asks to see my "owie" and each time she saw it before it was healed up she would say "aw, poor baby!" and kiss it better =) She's been feeling sick (yet another ear infection!) so she's been even more of a drama queen. That's been fun! Still, she LOVED the snow we got this week!
My mom has been amazing. We're definitely in a transition stage and learning how to live together again. Hopefully by the time David and the girls move in we will be at a place where we can have some peace of mind instead of the constant stress. But she has been such a big help, it's been great. I can do VERY little around the house, which takes some patience.
I saw my primary doctor earlier this week as well, just to check in with her and give her all the info about the surgery. Nothing really exciting happened there, thank goodness. I'm not sure I can handle another health scare!!
As for my extremely amazing husband, *sigh* there are no words!! He has basically been a single parent since he came back from Houston, which is NOT easy! We got to spend a weekend all together because of the snowstorm we had, but other than that he has done it all on his own while still trying to pack up the apartment before our lease is up on the 29th. He deserves MAJOR kudos!
The hardest thing has been accepting that there are things I can't do, especially when it comes to my girls. Sophia does NOT like it when she reaches out for me and I don't pick her up. Penny has been pretty good, though. She asks to see my "owie" and each time she saw it before it was healed up she would say "aw, poor baby!" and kiss it better =) She's been feeling sick (yet another ear infection!) so she's been even more of a drama queen. That's been fun! Still, she LOVED the snow we got this week!
My mom has been amazing. We're definitely in a transition stage and learning how to live together again. Hopefully by the time David and the girls move in we will be at a place where we can have some peace of mind instead of the constant stress. But she has been such a big help, it's been great. I can do VERY little around the house, which takes some patience.
I saw my primary doctor earlier this week as well, just to check in with her and give her all the info about the surgery. Nothing really exciting happened there, thank goodness. I'm not sure I can handle another health scare!!
As for my extremely amazing husband, *sigh* there are no words!! He has basically been a single parent since he came back from Houston, which is NOT easy! We got to spend a weekend all together because of the snowstorm we had, but other than that he has done it all on his own while still trying to pack up the apartment before our lease is up on the 29th. He deserves MAJOR kudos!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
It's Good To Be Home!
My last few days in the hospital went by pretty fast, surprisingly. It was nice and stormy out all week and I had some great nurses (thanks again to Allison, Kurry, Max, Shirley, and Phillip) but one was just awful. She came into my room during my physical therapy and shoved her way in between us, which was fine because we were just talking at the time. Then her beeper went off about 3 times and each time she stopped what she was doing and picked up my hospital room phone and tried calling about the page. I'm sure she was quite busy so I just ignored that. Her GOD-AWFUL perfume was a little harder to ignore, tho. You would think that someone who takes care of people that just had heart surgery wouldn't wear something that could possibly make someone have an allergy attack because I certainly did start coughing...LOUDLY. Not exactly as painless as it normally is! While all of these were mostly just annoyances, the real problem came later on when I had asked for a dose of morphine since the regular pain med wasn't cutting it. I had been through physical therapy, cardio therapy (which wasn't much different) and went for a nice walk around my floor and after just having surgery that was a pretty rough day and I had pushed myself just a little too far. Instead of doing as most nurses usually do and understanding this (by the way, let me point out that I'm EXTREMELY on top of my doses and times for meds and try VERY hard to keep to a routine, so asking for an additional pain med meant I was HURTING) she tells me that they don't usually administer morphine for patients that don't have a chest tube anymore and that, basically, it was unnecessary. I politely reminded her that while I may not have a chest tube I DID still just have my chest BROKEN and had a fairly active day. She left in a huff and took a good hour to get back, at which time I'm literally bawling from the pain so my sister reported her to their nursing manager. Luckily in the entire 4 days that I was in my own room this was the ONLY problem I had, the rest were terrific and very friendly.
So then the day FINALLY comes, and I'm getting discharged from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. I had just had a dose of my normal pain medicine that morning and noticed it was time for another, but figured we could just go and get the prescription filled and have it then. Since I'd stayed on top of my doses the last day and a half I was pretty comfortable and figured I'd rather get a head start to the drive. That did NOT happen....
As most of you know, I work at Wal-mart as a pharmacy technician, so I should have prepared somewhat for what we went through but even on our WORST day at my pharmacy, we would NEVER have let this type of situation happen. So since I can't walk for very long without getting pretty winded and uncomfortable, my wonderful sister runs into the pharmacy to get the drugs filled for me and I wait in the car. Since I'm familiar with the company's policies for picking up pain meds for other patients, I made sure all of my information was on the prescription and that my sister knew my date of birth, phone number and had HER drivers license. But of course, as soon as the technician (MT) gets a look at the drug, he asks her for ALL of my information short of asking for her to recite my social security number and then tells her that if she doesn't have MY drivers license she cannot pick it up. WRONG! So after a few minutes of my sister arguing with him and the pharmacist about this, the pharmacist says its fine and to go ahead with it. MT then tells my sister that it will be an hour (pretty typical for a busy Wal-mart) which she accepts and takes off to get the rest of the little things we had needed for the very LONG trip ahead of us. She comes back after about 45 minutes and has a seat by the pharmacy. When she's waited almost the entire hour she hops back in line and gets up to the register, where she is told that it hasn't even been dropped into the system yet and that it will be another 20 minutes. She's obviously not very happy so the cashier passes the buck to the pharmacist again. It takes awhile for her to even acknowledge my sister at which point she says "I don't even have that drug in stock." It's been a few minutes shy of 2 full hours now. So my sister has had enough, informs the pharmacist that she, herself, is a physician and would like to prescribe something the pharmacy DOES have in stock since it's becoming an emergency situation (again, haven't had pain meds since the morning dose!). The pharmacist kind of hesitates and acts like she thinks Amanda is joking, but Amanda gives her all of her physician and prescribing numbers so she allows Amanda to write it out and puts it into the system.
I think at this point, she (Caroline) just doesn't want to do it because she tells my sister that she isn't listed in their system. I'm of course assuming that she hadn't even bothered searching the Wal-Mart database because if she HAD she would have easily found my sister. So Amanda calls in a doctor favor to the physician who had overseen my treatment in the hospital when I'd had Sophia (ironically, the one who was responsible for them discovering my heart condition in the first place!) and she called the medicine in for me. But now Caroline tells my sister that it's closing time and she's not getting the prescription pulled up because there are other prescriptions in front of it...I'm surprised my sister didn't have a stroke at this point, but she angrily told the pharmacist to do whatever she needed to do to get this medicine filled, either transfer it or move it up in the queue, SOMETHING because I've been sitting in the car for almost THREE hours now without any medicine and is miserable.
Now, the lovely cashier (Shaw Denae) jumps in and says "She's MISERABLE after only three hours without her medicine?? Yeah right!" Amanda tells her "She just had her *insert F-bomb here* chest cracked and had open heart surgery on TUESDAY, so YES she is miserable!" And instead of stepping away and realizing she'd said a really shitty thing, this cashier says "Sounds like YOU care more about her medicine than she does!" I'm not really sure what words were exchanged at this point, but I know what I myself WOULD have said, so it's good I was in the car and, indeed, miserable. But big sis came through big time and got the medications finally.
So we wound up leaving Houston at like 7:30 and only made it to Gatesville before we were ready to call it a night. The drive was absolutely HORRIBLE. Every bump in the road jostled my entire body and I had to ride in the back seat of my sister's little Suzuki, so there was no possible way to get comfortable. Plus, between all the jostling and the good 9 hours without meds yesterday, I got to play catch-up with the pain again.
However, today I'm feeling pretty great! It's amazing how walking in the house made me instantly feel better! Plus I had some balloons from my Hubby and a fruit bouquet here to welcome me home, not to mention some fantastic (and VERY gentle) hugs from Penny and some kisses from Sophia. It's been so great seeing how much both of them have grown since I've been gone and seeing how much they missed their Momma! Since we're still in the process of packing up the apartment, David is taking the girls back there with him at night which is hard but proved to be a very good idea.
So, even though it's difficult to get around at times and frustrating to not be able to do a LOT, I'm happy to be home and healing and look VERY forward to the next few weeks, even months. This year is going to be AWESOME! I got several pictures the first day I could of my scar but, given the location, it's a bit too revealing for me to be comfortable with. But I wore a tank top today and got a good shot of the first 3-4 inches (it extends about another 2-3 inches below) that I thought I would share!
It's actually a LOT skinnier than I had imagined and a little shorter, too. As you can see, it's healing VERY nicely (with the exception of the lovely yellow bruises everywhere) and may not even be that noticeable!
So then the day FINALLY comes, and I'm getting discharged from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. I had just had a dose of my normal pain medicine that morning and noticed it was time for another, but figured we could just go and get the prescription filled and have it then. Since I'd stayed on top of my doses the last day and a half I was pretty comfortable and figured I'd rather get a head start to the drive. That did NOT happen....
As most of you know, I work at Wal-mart as a pharmacy technician, so I should have prepared somewhat for what we went through but even on our WORST day at my pharmacy, we would NEVER have let this type of situation happen. So since I can't walk for very long without getting pretty winded and uncomfortable, my wonderful sister runs into the pharmacy to get the drugs filled for me and I wait in the car. Since I'm familiar with the company's policies for picking up pain meds for other patients, I made sure all of my information was on the prescription and that my sister knew my date of birth, phone number and had HER drivers license. But of course, as soon as the technician (MT) gets a look at the drug, he asks her for ALL of my information short of asking for her to recite my social security number and then tells her that if she doesn't have MY drivers license she cannot pick it up. WRONG! So after a few minutes of my sister arguing with him and the pharmacist about this, the pharmacist says its fine and to go ahead with it. MT then tells my sister that it will be an hour (pretty typical for a busy Wal-mart) which she accepts and takes off to get the rest of the little things we had needed for the very LONG trip ahead of us. She comes back after about 45 minutes and has a seat by the pharmacy. When she's waited almost the entire hour she hops back in line and gets up to the register, where she is told that it hasn't even been dropped into the system yet and that it will be another 20 minutes. She's obviously not very happy so the cashier passes the buck to the pharmacist again. It takes awhile for her to even acknowledge my sister at which point she says "I don't even have that drug in stock." It's been a few minutes shy of 2 full hours now. So my sister has had enough, informs the pharmacist that she, herself, is a physician and would like to prescribe something the pharmacy DOES have in stock since it's becoming an emergency situation (again, haven't had pain meds since the morning dose!). The pharmacist kind of hesitates and acts like she thinks Amanda is joking, but Amanda gives her all of her physician and prescribing numbers so she allows Amanda to write it out and puts it into the system.
I think at this point, she (Caroline) just doesn't want to do it because she tells my sister that she isn't listed in their system. I'm of course assuming that she hadn't even bothered searching the Wal-Mart database because if she HAD she would have easily found my sister. So Amanda calls in a doctor favor to the physician who had overseen my treatment in the hospital when I'd had Sophia (ironically, the one who was responsible for them discovering my heart condition in the first place!) and she called the medicine in for me. But now Caroline tells my sister that it's closing time and she's not getting the prescription pulled up because there are other prescriptions in front of it...I'm surprised my sister didn't have a stroke at this point, but she angrily told the pharmacist to do whatever she needed to do to get this medicine filled, either transfer it or move it up in the queue, SOMETHING because I've been sitting in the car for almost THREE hours now without any medicine and is miserable.
Now, the lovely cashier (Shaw Denae) jumps in and says "She's MISERABLE after only three hours without her medicine?? Yeah right!" Amanda tells her "She just had her *insert F-bomb here* chest cracked and had open heart surgery on TUESDAY, so YES she is miserable!" And instead of stepping away and realizing she'd said a really shitty thing, this cashier says "Sounds like YOU care more about her medicine than she does!" I'm not really sure what words were exchanged at this point, but I know what I myself WOULD have said, so it's good I was in the car and, indeed, miserable. But big sis came through big time and got the medications finally.
So we wound up leaving Houston at like 7:30 and only made it to Gatesville before we were ready to call it a night. The drive was absolutely HORRIBLE. Every bump in the road jostled my entire body and I had to ride in the back seat of my sister's little Suzuki, so there was no possible way to get comfortable. Plus, between all the jostling and the good 9 hours without meds yesterday, I got to play catch-up with the pain again.
However, today I'm feeling pretty great! It's amazing how walking in the house made me instantly feel better! Plus I had some balloons from my Hubby and a fruit bouquet here to welcome me home, not to mention some fantastic (and VERY gentle) hugs from Penny and some kisses from Sophia. It's been so great seeing how much both of them have grown since I've been gone and seeing how much they missed their Momma! Since we're still in the process of packing up the apartment, David is taking the girls back there with him at night which is hard but proved to be a very good idea.
So, even though it's difficult to get around at times and frustrating to not be able to do a LOT, I'm happy to be home and healing and look VERY forward to the next few weeks, even months. This year is going to be AWESOME! I got several pictures the first day I could of my scar but, given the location, it's a bit too revealing for me to be comfortable with. But I wore a tank top today and got a good shot of the first 3-4 inches (it extends about another 2-3 inches below) that I thought I would share!
It's actually a LOT skinnier than I had imagined and a little shorter, too. As you can see, it's healing VERY nicely (with the exception of the lovely yellow bruises everywhere) and may not even be that noticeable!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Alive and kicking!
Surgery went very well! Once again I was greatly impressed with Dr. Ott's skill level. The surgery I had typically takes about 6+ hours with a good hour to an hour and a half (I believe) on the bypass pump, which can be dangerous so the less time you are on the bypass pump the better. Dr. Ott was done in about 3 1/2 hours and he only needed me on the bypass pump for 21 minutes. The man is DAYUM fast, and very good. I'm doing pretty well, like the doctors have all said each day is substantially better than the next. Although they took me off the pain pump when they moved me to my nice private room (thanks, Dr. Sister!) so I shed a few tears over that.
Overall I have had really fantastic nurses (shoutout to Famila, Caroline, Cheyenne, Mari and Brandi!!) and have a newfound respect for their job after some of the post-op patients we endured together. I'm away from the ICU now but so far like this nurse (Allison) too! Takes a special person to do their job!!
Also my room has an awesome view of some of the medical buildings and hospitals, and I do not mean that sarcastically! The medical center here is HUGE with over ten hospitals in the area, it's truly amazing. And it's nice and gloomy out just like I like it!
Okay well I'm going to spend some quality time with my sis now and try to take it easy. Wish me a pain-free night! Love you all so much and appreciate every bit of support. Those prayers certainly paid off, I was told I am healing perfectly!
Monday, January 30, 2012
EARLY MORNING TOMORROW!
So after getting to my appointment at 10:15 AM, we finally left the medical center at about 5 PM! But, it was all for a good reason. During several different conversations with people in different areas of the hospital, we were told that Dr. David Ott (my surgeon for tomorrow) is without a doubt the best surgeon to do the procedure. Not only does he have an impressive success rate, he is very fast which is a good thing because the shorter I am under and on the bypass pump the better!
I was reassured very much from Dr. Ott about what the surgery is going to be like and how I may feel afterwards. He said, in comparison to my c-section, I will be in less pain. I kind of wondered if that was because of the wonderful drugs they will be giving me, but thought it best not to ask that kind of question =)
They also told me that they stabilize my sternum with wires to avoid an accidental break. I will have to be in the ICU for about a day, then taken up to a semi-private room (shitty insurance won't cover a private room, but I'm sure I won't care!) and they will have me walking around my room the next day. Kind of cool that I'll be up and walking after only 2 days in the hospital after HEART surgery but it also makes me feel better. The cardiologist we have also told me that each day the pain level and my overall feeling will increase substantially. We saw a cardiologist here in town because they will be the ones checking up on me in the hospital and following my recovery. My sister and husband were both with me when we met him and again, we are lucky to have a very friendly and wise doctor who is well-educated in my condition. I really love that!!
Tomorrow we will be getting to the hospital by 5:30 AM. Needless to say I will be going to bed shortly! I get to take two showers with Hibiclens and no food after midnight. I may chew my own arm off, but whatever I'll get to have yummy broth or something eventually! *yay*
The overall surgery is estimated to be a permanent fix to my condition, even possibly getting rid of the heart murmur I have had my entire life. They did suggest possibly treating my condition aggressively with medication but any treatment in that way would really only postpone the inevitable and as a mom I don't want to make those kinds of risks (increasing symptoms and whatnot) if we are just going to be back down here in a couple months or so. Especially since we know our insurance is covering it!
I will be given a little pillow to hold against my chest any time I need to cough or sneeze. Since I live in Lubbock, that thing won't leave my side!
We got so much information today that I'm not even sure I got all of it in here. I'm sure I'll add info as it comes. Really right now I want to shower and cuddle up with the Hubby and a pint of ice cream, so goodnight!! I will probably not get a chance to update the blog for a couple days. Love you all, thanks again for the well-wishes!
So after getting to my appointment at 10:15 AM, we finally left the medical center at about 5 PM! But, it was all for a good reason. During several different conversations with people in different areas of the hospital, we were told that Dr. David Ott (my surgeon for tomorrow) is without a doubt the best surgeon to do the procedure. Not only does he have an impressive success rate, he is very fast which is a good thing because the shorter I am under and on the bypass pump the better!
I was reassured very much from Dr. Ott about what the surgery is going to be like and how I may feel afterwards. He said, in comparison to my c-section, I will be in less pain. I kind of wondered if that was because of the wonderful drugs they will be giving me, but thought it best not to ask that kind of question =)
They also told me that they stabilize my sternum with wires to avoid an accidental break. I will have to be in the ICU for about a day, then taken up to a semi-private room (shitty insurance won't cover a private room, but I'm sure I won't care!) and they will have me walking around my room the next day. Kind of cool that I'll be up and walking after only 2 days in the hospital after HEART surgery but it also makes me feel better. The cardiologist we have also told me that each day the pain level and my overall feeling will increase substantially. We saw a cardiologist here in town because they will be the ones checking up on me in the hospital and following my recovery. My sister and husband were both with me when we met him and again, we are lucky to have a very friendly and wise doctor who is well-educated in my condition. I really love that!!
Tomorrow we will be getting to the hospital by 5:30 AM. Needless to say I will be going to bed shortly! I get to take two showers with Hibiclens and no food after midnight. I may chew my own arm off, but whatever I'll get to have yummy broth or something eventually! *yay*
The overall surgery is estimated to be a permanent fix to my condition, even possibly getting rid of the heart murmur I have had my entire life. They did suggest possibly treating my condition aggressively with medication but any treatment in that way would really only postpone the inevitable and as a mom I don't want to make those kinds of risks (increasing symptoms and whatnot) if we are just going to be back down here in a couple months or so. Especially since we know our insurance is covering it!
I will be given a little pillow to hold against my chest any time I need to cough or sneeze. Since I live in Lubbock, that thing won't leave my side!
We got so much information today that I'm not even sure I got all of it in here. I'm sure I'll add info as it comes. Really right now I want to shower and cuddle up with the Hubby and a pint of ice cream, so goodnight!! I will probably not get a chance to update the blog for a couple days. Love you all, thanks again for the well-wishes!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Houston, here we come!
Well, actually, we're already here. It took us about 9 hours from dropping the girls off with David's sisters, but we stopped for a lunch date and a bit of antiquing! Nice hotel location, with a shuttle service to the hospital. I have my husband, sister, mother and father here with me so of course the first thing we did was find a restaurant after getting checked in. Have to enjoy a few meals before a week of LOVELY hospital food, a restricted diet of hospital food at that!
I've been bugging Dr. Sister incessantly about the little details regarding the surgery. Again, my lack of patience reveals itself! I can't wait just a couple days to discuss the details with the surgeon actually DOING the procedure, nope I have to research it and nitpick over everything =)
I think the thing I'm having the most trouble with is the fact that the first broken bone I will have in my life is going to be my septum. Or breastbone...I think it's the same thing...I guess we'll find out tomorrow!! But in all honesty, I'm just ready to be done with the surgery. I know it will be painful and hard to recover but I'd rather be in pain and recovering (and HEALING) than waiting and worrying. And I'm already dying to get back to my girls! We hurried out this morning before dawn to avoid a big sobbing scene (David just can't handle his emotions sometimes, ha ha!) but I still welled up pretty good when Sophia just opened her eyes and looked at me.
And I really must take the time to mention that in the face of this critical surgery, I find myself completely in love with my friends, family, and coworkers that have been such an enormous help in all of this. Whether it's been just a phone call to reassure me that they are thinking of me or letting me ramble on about my fears or even asking for the details each of you have made this entire situation so much easier to deal with. I know it's scary for everyone but it's been an unbelievable help to know how much support and love we have behind us.
Until tomorrow, then!
Well, actually, we're already here. It took us about 9 hours from dropping the girls off with David's sisters, but we stopped for a lunch date and a bit of antiquing! Nice hotel location, with a shuttle service to the hospital. I have my husband, sister, mother and father here with me so of course the first thing we did was find a restaurant after getting checked in. Have to enjoy a few meals before a week of LOVELY hospital food, a restricted diet of hospital food at that!
I've been bugging Dr. Sister incessantly about the little details regarding the surgery. Again, my lack of patience reveals itself! I can't wait just a couple days to discuss the details with the surgeon actually DOING the procedure, nope I have to research it and nitpick over everything =)
I think the thing I'm having the most trouble with is the fact that the first broken bone I will have in my life is going to be my septum. Or breastbone...I think it's the same thing...I guess we'll find out tomorrow!! But in all honesty, I'm just ready to be done with the surgery. I know it will be painful and hard to recover but I'd rather be in pain and recovering (and HEALING) than waiting and worrying. And I'm already dying to get back to my girls! We hurried out this morning before dawn to avoid a big sobbing scene (David just can't handle his emotions sometimes, ha ha!) but I still welled up pretty good when Sophia just opened her eyes and looked at me.
And I really must take the time to mention that in the face of this critical surgery, I find myself completely in love with my friends, family, and coworkers that have been such an enormous help in all of this. Whether it's been just a phone call to reassure me that they are thinking of me or letting me ramble on about my fears or even asking for the details each of you have made this entire situation so much easier to deal with. I know it's scary for everyone but it's been an unbelievable help to know how much support and love we have behind us.
Until tomorrow, then!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
EEK!
So since I have the patience of a saint (note sarcasm) I decided to call the surgeon's office and see about setting up an appointment. Apparently they had my number wrong and had been trying to call me since last week after my angiogram. Turns out that they could get me in anytime to meet with my surgeon and go over all of the procedures and whatnot and get me in for surgery the next day. We arranged to have the surgery for Tuesday, the 31st of January. Like, in 6 days.
Needless to say, I'm a little freaked out. I mean, its one thing to go and research the procedures and surgery and doctor and all of that...its another to actually be putting the plans into motion, and I'm not sure quite yet how I feel. I think as soon as I can wrap my head around it and have a good cry (like any normal girl will do now and again) I will be just fine, but until then I'm keeping busy with work and the kiddos. Fun side note: the day I'm allowed to lift Sophia again (limited to 5lbs or less since the angiogram) is the DAY of the friggen' surgery. But I know my girls will be in good hands and I'll have good company with me in Houston.
For now I'm concentrating on what the heck I'm going to do for a WEEK in the hospital recovering after the surgery! I'm thinking between my laptop and borrowing my mom's Kindle I'll be pretty set. Plus big sis might bring her IPAD *hint hint* to show off and to continue my How I Met Your Mother Marathon I started on Friday. Although I guess I could just do that on my computer...but where's the fun in that??
In short: Surgery Tuesday
Prayers are welcomed at this point =)
Oh and feel free to ask any questions or leave comments, that was the whole point to this, guys!
So since I have the patience of a saint (note sarcasm) I decided to call the surgeon's office and see about setting up an appointment. Apparently they had my number wrong and had been trying to call me since last week after my angiogram. Turns out that they could get me in anytime to meet with my surgeon and go over all of the procedures and whatnot and get me in for surgery the next day. We arranged to have the surgery for Tuesday, the 31st of January. Like, in 6 days.
Needless to say, I'm a little freaked out. I mean, its one thing to go and research the procedures and surgery and doctor and all of that...its another to actually be putting the plans into motion, and I'm not sure quite yet how I feel. I think as soon as I can wrap my head around it and have a good cry (like any normal girl will do now and again) I will be just fine, but until then I'm keeping busy with work and the kiddos. Fun side note: the day I'm allowed to lift Sophia again (limited to 5lbs or less since the angiogram) is the DAY of the friggen' surgery. But I know my girls will be in good hands and I'll have good company with me in Houston.
For now I'm concentrating on what the heck I'm going to do for a WEEK in the hospital recovering after the surgery! I'm thinking between my laptop and borrowing my mom's Kindle I'll be pretty set. Plus big sis might bring her IPAD *hint hint* to show off and to continue my How I Met Your Mother Marathon I started on Friday. Although I guess I could just do that on my computer...but where's the fun in that??
In short: Surgery Tuesday
Prayers are welcomed at this point =)
Oh and feel free to ask any questions or leave comments, that was the whole point to this, guys!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
In Depth Details of HOCM
After reviewing the links I realized there are a lot of technical terms that are hard to get a good grasp on unless you are familiar with them.
For me, the first signs of the heart condition were noticed in the hospital. My heart was beating very hard and sounded concerning. The only symptoms I was having at that time was shortness of breath.
After I went home from the hospital with our new baby my feet and ankles swelled up to the point that I couldn't wear any of my shoes or socks because they dug in too deep. This, however, went away after about a week or so.
But unfortunately, about 2 months later, I started having dizzy spells where out of nowhere (no matter how hydrated I was or what I had eaten) I would get light headed and have to sit down. They would last about 5 minutes or so, but the scariest one was when I was getting my youngest daughter, Sophia, out of the car and I had to sit with her in my lap until it passed. Then at bedtime when I would lay down my heart would start beating extremely fast and I'd have to sit up to catch my breath. It started to get to the point that my chest was also feeling tight so I gave my cardiologist a call and moved up my appointment with her.
When I spoke with her, she decided to do the angiogram (which is where they thread a very small wire up through the femoral artery in your groin area and inject ink into the heart to see any kind of obstructions or blockage) to decide what our next step would be.
After the angio, one of the two options we had (the alcohol ablation or the septal myectomy) was, unfortunately, ruled out. I had no other real choice but septal myectomy, which is an open heart surgery where they cut out the obstruction.
After the angio I had a much more serious dizzy spell where I could hear crashing waves in my ears and my vision went white. My husband, luckily, was there to hold me up and make sure I didn't fall flat on my face on the concrete and dislodge the clot they put in place to keep the artery closed.
Since then I have been in contact with my cardiologist about getting on a medication that is supposed to help with the symptoms I have been experiencing, hopefully just until we have the surgery. As a very overprotective mother, I have ZERO intention of fainting around my children and will take any step to preventing that.
The problem with HOCM is that it's not something that will fix itself, it will just continue to get worse if left untreated until the person dies. And this girl has WAY to awesome of a life to let that happen!
After reviewing the links I realized there are a lot of technical terms that are hard to get a good grasp on unless you are familiar with them.
For me, the first signs of the heart condition were noticed in the hospital. My heart was beating very hard and sounded concerning. The only symptoms I was having at that time was shortness of breath.
After I went home from the hospital with our new baby my feet and ankles swelled up to the point that I couldn't wear any of my shoes or socks because they dug in too deep. This, however, went away after about a week or so.
But unfortunately, about 2 months later, I started having dizzy spells where out of nowhere (no matter how hydrated I was or what I had eaten) I would get light headed and have to sit down. They would last about 5 minutes or so, but the scariest one was when I was getting my youngest daughter, Sophia, out of the car and I had to sit with her in my lap until it passed. Then at bedtime when I would lay down my heart would start beating extremely fast and I'd have to sit up to catch my breath. It started to get to the point that my chest was also feeling tight so I gave my cardiologist a call and moved up my appointment with her.
When I spoke with her, she decided to do the angiogram (which is where they thread a very small wire up through the femoral artery in your groin area and inject ink into the heart to see any kind of obstructions or blockage) to decide what our next step would be.
After the angio, one of the two options we had (the alcohol ablation or the septal myectomy) was, unfortunately, ruled out. I had no other real choice but septal myectomy, which is an open heart surgery where they cut out the obstruction.
After the angio I had a much more serious dizzy spell where I could hear crashing waves in my ears and my vision went white. My husband, luckily, was there to hold me up and make sure I didn't fall flat on my face on the concrete and dislodge the clot they put in place to keep the artery closed.
Since then I have been in contact with my cardiologist about getting on a medication that is supposed to help with the symptoms I have been experiencing, hopefully just until we have the surgery. As a very overprotective mother, I have ZERO intention of fainting around my children and will take any step to preventing that.
The problem with HOCM is that it's not something that will fix itself, it will just continue to get worse if left untreated until the person dies. And this girl has WAY to awesome of a life to let that happen!
Let's start with the basics: My name is Katie Gonzalez, I'm 25 and I have a "super-special" heart. At the end of the summer, I gave birth to my second daughter via c-section. After the surgery, I had some fluid in my lungs (we are still not sure what happened there) but the most concerning situation was that my fairly normal heart murmur (that I have had since birth) was MUCH more pronounced, even from my last appointment with my doctor 4 days prior to the surgery.
After some pushing from one of my doctors, I was whisked away up to Cardiology and given an echocardiogram. This is basically an ultrasound of the heart (you know, like when you're pregnant and get to see the baby? Same thing, just higher up and WAY less exciting) and it revealed immediately that I had a very serious heart condition called Hypertropic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy. From now on, I will refer to it as HOCM since that is a very long name!
To get an idea of what HOCM is, I'll insert link here:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/cardiovascular/heart/adam-200045.htm
I will now point out that there is a HUGE difference between HCM and HOCM, the obstruction makes my condition very rare, especially at 25 years old. HOCM is noted to be the #1 reason for young adults sudden unexplained deaths and is usually diagnosed on the autopsy table. To have lived 25 years without having any life-changing symptoms and to have had 2 BEAUTIFUL babies without having a more serious "episode" revealing the condition is an absolute blessing.
The procedure that they showed on the video was something my family and I were hoping would be an option for me, since it is a much easier recovery. However, after having an Angiogram (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angiography) it was revealed that not only do I have a very rare heart condition, but that my very rare condition was even MORE rare because my obstruction is not up higher on the septum like patients with HOCM are usually seen with. Mine is much further down on the septum, ruling alcohol ablation out completely and making for a very difficult surgery. Hence the "super-special" heart =)
So now, at 25 years old and a wife and mother of two I am now looking at having open heart surgery. The actual name of the surgery is septal myectomy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Septal_myectomy) and as of this moment, we are waiting to hear from a very prestigious surgeon in the Houston area about whether or not he is willing to perform the surgery. My cardiologist had referred me to a heart surgeon in our area that she thought could do the surgery, however (seeing as it's so uncommon) he had never performed one and didn't want to risk trying me out as his "maiden voyage," if you will. Which, of course, is more than okay to me!
To give some history on me, I'm from the Lubbock area and have worked as a pharmacy technician for about 6 years. I met my husband at my current pharmacy (where we both still work) and were married shortly after. Although NOTHING about our relationship was normal or traditional (seeing as I gave birth to our first daughter 4 months after our wedding, you can do the math!) our meeting will forever go down in my book as fate. He came into my life when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to meet someone and boy did he sweep me off my feet! The worst part of this entire situation is that we just recently lost his father to cancer and now having to deal with the possibility of losing his wife as well...you can imagine the impact that can have on a man. But I'm a hopeless romantic and know (in my super special heart!) that we will make it through anything and this is just another, albeit BIGGER, bump in the road for us.
As for my girls *sigh*....they are the BEST thing I have ever done in my life. They are beautiful, healthy (my 2-year-old saw a pediatric cardiologist shortly after I was diagnosed and showed no signs of my condition...she could later on down the road, but we are very much silver-lining people and thank the Lord for that) and absolutely crazy.
Penny (the two-year-old) is totally a genius. Except when it comes to potty training! I have a sneaking suspicion she will be going into a career in the medical field when she grows up. Her aunt gave her an old stethoscope (my sister is a Family Medicine doctor...*proud!*) and it is without a doubt her favorite "toy." She listens to everyone's heart in the room. She will correct you, boss you around and will question any "order" you give her but when well rested and well fed (and not sick!), she's the sweetest girl I've ever met. She LOVES being a big sister and is always trying to help Mom and Dad out. After my angiogram (while I was hobbling around like a little old lady!) she tried to crawl into my lap and hit the area where the cardio catheter had gone in and I let out a little cry in pain (while swearing like a sailor in my head!). We showed her "Mommy's owie" and after that she was so gentle and sweet it nearly brought me to tears. Not that it's a hard thing to do [bring me to tears] because I'm, as my sister says, "a delicate flower."
Our newest little one, Sophia, is the happiest baby ever. She started smiling at about a week old or so and hasn't stopped yet! Her favorite teething "toy" is Mommy's fingers and attacks them with such gusto I fear that she's developed a taste for human flesh. But she certainly enjoys all the new baby foods we are trying so we'll assume she isn't a cannibal just yet! She's quite a lazy thing. She has ZERO interest in crawling and would much rather cry until someone picks her up than give it a shot with those chubby little legs. She is starting to roll over, but only when you catch her in the right mood. In other words, this little one is quite spoiled!
So that's my life! I wanted to start a blog to keep up with everything that goes on with me and the surgery. As unique as it is, it's sometimes hard to figure out how I feel about it, and I've always been better at writing (or typing, I guess) my feelings as a way of getting them out. And I think part of me has always been very open and I don't mind sharing the ugliness and beauty in such a crazy, life-changing situation. In the face of complete turmoil I've always seemed to rise to the occasion and take away some sort of life lesson. So far, I have been reminded just how many people I have that sincerely care about me and my family and to never let a moment pass without telling someone how important they are to you.
After some pushing from one of my doctors, I was whisked away up to Cardiology and given an echocardiogram. This is basically an ultrasound of the heart (you know, like when you're pregnant and get to see the baby? Same thing, just higher up and WAY less exciting) and it revealed immediately that I had a very serious heart condition called Hypertropic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy. From now on, I will refer to it as HOCM since that is a very long name!
To get an idea of what HOCM is, I'll insert link here:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/cardiovascular/heart/adam-200045.htm
I will now point out that there is a HUGE difference between HCM and HOCM, the obstruction makes my condition very rare, especially at 25 years old. HOCM is noted to be the #1 reason for young adults sudden unexplained deaths and is usually diagnosed on the autopsy table. To have lived 25 years without having any life-changing symptoms and to have had 2 BEAUTIFUL babies without having a more serious "episode" revealing the condition is an absolute blessing.
The procedure that they showed on the video was something my family and I were hoping would be an option for me, since it is a much easier recovery. However, after having an Angiogram (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angiography) it was revealed that not only do I have a very rare heart condition, but that my very rare condition was even MORE rare because my obstruction is not up higher on the septum like patients with HOCM are usually seen with. Mine is much further down on the septum, ruling alcohol ablation out completely and making for a very difficult surgery. Hence the "super-special" heart =)
So now, at 25 years old and a wife and mother of two I am now looking at having open heart surgery. The actual name of the surgery is septal myectomy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Septal_myectomy) and as of this moment, we are waiting to hear from a very prestigious surgeon in the Houston area about whether or not he is willing to perform the surgery. My cardiologist had referred me to a heart surgeon in our area that she thought could do the surgery, however (seeing as it's so uncommon) he had never performed one and didn't want to risk trying me out as his "maiden voyage," if you will. Which, of course, is more than okay to me!
To give some history on me, I'm from the Lubbock area and have worked as a pharmacy technician for about 6 years. I met my husband at my current pharmacy (where we both still work) and were married shortly after. Although NOTHING about our relationship was normal or traditional (seeing as I gave birth to our first daughter 4 months after our wedding, you can do the math!) our meeting will forever go down in my book as fate. He came into my life when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to meet someone and boy did he sweep me off my feet! The worst part of this entire situation is that we just recently lost his father to cancer and now having to deal with the possibility of losing his wife as well...you can imagine the impact that can have on a man. But I'm a hopeless romantic and know (in my super special heart!) that we will make it through anything and this is just another, albeit BIGGER, bump in the road for us.
As for my girls *sigh*....they are the BEST thing I have ever done in my life. They are beautiful, healthy (my 2-year-old saw a pediatric cardiologist shortly after I was diagnosed and showed no signs of my condition...she could later on down the road, but we are very much silver-lining people and thank the Lord for that) and absolutely crazy.
Our newest little one, Sophia, is the happiest baby ever. She started smiling at about a week old or so and hasn't stopped yet! Her favorite teething "toy" is Mommy's fingers and attacks them with such gusto I fear that she's developed a taste for human flesh. But she certainly enjoys all the new baby foods we are trying so we'll assume she isn't a cannibal just yet! She's quite a lazy thing. She has ZERO interest in crawling and would much rather cry until someone picks her up than give it a shot with those chubby little legs. She is starting to roll over, but only when you catch her in the right mood. In other words, this little one is quite spoiled!
So that's my life! I wanted to start a blog to keep up with everything that goes on with me and the surgery. As unique as it is, it's sometimes hard to figure out how I feel about it, and I've always been better at writing (or typing, I guess) my feelings as a way of getting them out. And I think part of me has always been very open and I don't mind sharing the ugliness and beauty in such a crazy, life-changing situation. In the face of complete turmoil I've always seemed to rise to the occasion and take away some sort of life lesson. So far, I have been reminded just how many people I have that sincerely care about me and my family and to never let a moment pass without telling someone how important they are to you.
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